Marjorie
Tomorrow is my beautiful daughter Marjorie's 28th birthday. She is my youngest. I love her so much. I miss her so much.
Our relationship is so intensely emotional. I just want to start over and be her mommy again. I just want to hold her in my arms and smell her hair and kiss her face. I want to protect her from every harm. I want to spend time with her. I want her to know how sorry I am for all of the pain that I caused her during her childhood.
I have told her all of these things. She says she forgives me. I am having a hard time forgiving myself. Maybe someday I will be able to.
Happy Birthday Beautiful Daughter.....
I love you more than life itself.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Well, sure has been a long time since I spent anytime on my blog. I have been trying to figure out what the heck a blog even is. An online diary that is open to anyone to read? An informative article that gets published? Frustrated writers outlets? What is the purpose of a blog? A place for people who like to read to find stuff to read? Heehee.
I am in Eugene at the Midwifery Today Conference. Lots of beautiful women here networking and socializing and letting their hair down a bit. Just being able to talk to each other and see how much we have in common has been so good. There is a lot of pain and frustration and anger in this community.
Persecution of midwives has been a topic of conversation and consternation. It is very scary. There are midwives here who have been arrested and who have had their clinics raided and some have been imprisoned. When I dreamed about being a midwife when I was 18 years old, I never imagined that this could be part of my future. It makes me so sad to think that midwives, who serve their communities with tender loving care are accused of felonies when they are only ever helping and get caught in the tide of life. Our society is so horrible. Complaining and suing and prosecuting and investigating and jailing midwives. If doctors have the same outcomes as these midwives, they are not put in prison. I just don't even understand.
I gave two presentations today. They did go very well. The first one was the best. It was about Avoiding Labor Complications. I have had many very nice comments about it. I have been rooming with two super midwives that I have known for many years, but have not gotten to know very well until now. My mentor and midwife is here and is so sweet. I just love her so much.
I am missing my family. A lot of very exciting things have been happening since I have been gone. It looks as if our daughter and her family are going to be buying a piece of property from us and build a house there. This makes me so very happy. I see a lot of fun times in our future. Lots of possibilities for raising food and moving ahead with some things we have been planning for a long time.
Life is good and life goes on. God is dealing well with this midwife. I thank him so much for loving and caring for me. I thank him so much for forgiving me for all of the times I screw up and let him down. I pray for strength in the days to come and for courage to face each day and what it holds. I pray that God will also deal well with my midwife sisters all around the world, that he will protect all of us from persecution, that he will bless the births that we attend and the mothers and babies who we are called to serve.
I am in Eugene at the Midwifery Today Conference. Lots of beautiful women here networking and socializing and letting their hair down a bit. Just being able to talk to each other and see how much we have in common has been so good. There is a lot of pain and frustration and anger in this community.
Persecution of midwives has been a topic of conversation and consternation. It is very scary. There are midwives here who have been arrested and who have had their clinics raided and some have been imprisoned. When I dreamed about being a midwife when I was 18 years old, I never imagined that this could be part of my future. It makes me so sad to think that midwives, who serve their communities with tender loving care are accused of felonies when they are only ever helping and get caught in the tide of life. Our society is so horrible. Complaining and suing and prosecuting and investigating and jailing midwives. If doctors have the same outcomes as these midwives, they are not put in prison. I just don't even understand.
I gave two presentations today. They did go very well. The first one was the best. It was about Avoiding Labor Complications. I have had many very nice comments about it. I have been rooming with two super midwives that I have known for many years, but have not gotten to know very well until now. My mentor and midwife is here and is so sweet. I just love her so much.
I am missing my family. A lot of very exciting things have been happening since I have been gone. It looks as if our daughter and her family are going to be buying a piece of property from us and build a house there. This makes me so very happy. I see a lot of fun times in our future. Lots of possibilities for raising food and moving ahead with some things we have been planning for a long time.
Life is good and life goes on. God is dealing well with this midwife. I thank him so much for loving and caring for me. I thank him so much for forgiving me for all of the times I screw up and let him down. I pray for strength in the days to come and for courage to face each day and what it holds. I pray that God will also deal well with my midwife sisters all around the world, that he will protect all of us from persecution, that he will bless the births that we attend and the mothers and babies who we are called to serve.
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